Department of Cranial Property Management · Form HS-RAM/02
Apply for a printed diagnosis.
Six questions. One highly official-looking Cranial Occupancy Report. Find out which thought has seized the best room in your head and receive a personalized Eviction Order.
Important: This is a fictional, humorous inspection—not a medical or psychological diagnosis. No account required. Answers stay in your browser; nothing is submitted to us. Printing uses your device's normal print or Save as PDF function.
Confidential file · Not actually confidential because nobody receives it
Intake Questionnaire
Please answer without consulting your imaginary legal team.
FORM HS-RAM/02 · DUPLICATE NOT REQUIRED
Officially Unofficial Assessment
Cranial Occupancy Report
FOR HUMOROUS ADMINISTRATIVE PURPOSES ONLY — NOT A MEDICAL DIAGNOSIS
- File No.
- —
- Issue Date
- —
- Property Address
- YOUR HEAD
- Named Occupant
- —
- Classification
- —
- Estimated Occupancy
- —
Finding A — Inspection Record
—
Finding B — Unauthorized Conduct
—
Finding C — Administrative Jurisdiction
—
ORDER TO VACATE / ONE AUTHORIZED ACTION
—
Acting Deputy Assistant to the Temporary Office of Mental Real Estate Compliance
Important: This report is a fictional parody prepared from your choices, not a clinical diagnosis, personalized treatment, or evidence of any actual disorder. Its numerical score is intentionally invented. Nothing on your device was scanned. Keep useful next steps; consult qualified professionals when you need real health or mental-health guidance. WE SHRINK HEADS GOOD. — headshrinkers.press
On a phone, use your device's print options and select Save as PDF if you'd like a digital copy.